An Unconventional Family

Bonnie’s Beebees Part I, 2018

My mom once wrote that she was the wayward mother with exemplary kids. She didn't mean that we were geniuses, she simply meant that while her parenting style was controversial, we somehow turned out well. She was the weirdest mother bird indeed.

At a time when intact families were the norm, being a single mom in the 70s didn't fluster her. Of course, she had help. Our grandparents and other relatives were the villagers who helped raise us when mom's passion for nationalism brought her to situations that even as an adult, I still can't fully comprehend. But that would be for another post.

In January 2018, I started to think about my sister's birthday. Now, it's not like me to think about birthday presents in advance. It's just that my sister is a doctor and her husband is a lawyer. What the heck, could I give her that she doesn't have or can't afford? My sister is the most generous person I know. She sponsors missionaries, college students, World Vision kids, etc. She probably has not said "no" to anyone needing help. 

My sister's love language is gift giving. If you haven't heard of love languages, you may want to pick up a copy of Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages. If you want to show love to your loved ones in a most significant way, this book gives you great insight on how to do that. (I don't get any money for promoting this book. Just saying that it's been helpful to me.)

So anyhow, back to my sister's love language. While she never expects anything in return, I know that when someone gives her something, whether it's a card, a cupcake or whatever, she really appreciates your thoughtfulness.

I wanted to give her something that would symbolize our family. So “Bonnie's Beebees Part 1” was conceptualized.

Bonnie is, of course, my mom's name. When we were younger, we had a nanny who had a provincial accent and pronounced the word "baby" as "beebee," a term that became endearing to Mom. Ever since then, she started calling us her beebees.

I did a simple water color wash for the background and used dry pastel pencils for the drawing. When I was teaching art, my students used pastel pencils that I found in storage with mixed results. They liked that the pencils had some ability to blend but it was very dry and the colors were not vibrant. I didn't really care for it. If I had to use pastels, my preference would be oil pastels. I know, I know, totally different medium.

But while I was doing the initial draft of my piece, I couldn't control my marks for the details using oil pastels. I was getting frustrated again. I was working on a small piece of paper with a blunt piece of pastel.  

So off I went reading forums for great pastel pencils. That's when I discovered the beauty that is Caran D’Ache. Boy oh boy, were the pencils smooth. Not as buttery as oil pastels, but enough to easily blend and draw details. I was smitten. The price tag was not in the realms of my budget but my husband always said, "You have to use the right tools, if you want the best results." Isn't he just wonderful? Yes, it was a bit painful paying for pricey pencils, but man, it was totally worth it.

I drew mom as this vibrant bird. She loved colors and had a way of wearing the brightest scarves with so much style. The grey bird closest to the mama bird is my brother as he had been the closest to Mom. He was Mom's right hand man in business and everything else. My sister is the chick with the long lashes. She inherited Mom's sense of style and beauty. And I was the purple bird - the black sheep of the family, the one who wanted to fly out of the nest as soon as I could.

Bonnie’s Beebees Part II, 2018

I showed the picture to my brother and he totally got it. He guessed who each bird was. Then he asked, "Could you add the kids?" He meant my sons.

When my sons were born, they became the new generation of beebees. I can still hear Mom calling out, "Where's my beebees? I need a hug from my beebees!" And my kids would run to her showering her with hugs and kisses much to her delight.

Since I wanted the piece to depict three generations, I decided to make another drawing.

Mom doted on my boys. When they were little, Mom would wake them up early on Saturday mornings so they could go to the farmer's market. My sons happily went with her and came back with all sorts of treats. Years later, my sons would fondly remember their market trips with their grandma.

When I showed the second picture to my younger son, he knew right away that he was the red bird with the worm. I laughed. He was so naughty as a child and he always tried to use his smile to get out of trouble. It didn't work with me, but it sure did work for Mom.

It’s been more than a decade since Mom passed and while our relationship was very prickly, I’m so grateful that she and my sons got to build their own relationship devoid of any conflicts. My boys got to experience Mom’s awesome side and she got to experience their excitable personalities. It was love in the purest form.